Clean eating challenge going strongΒ 

I’m forcing myself to meal prep and eat healthy for the next few months to break some of the bad habits I’ve picked up since my wedding.

  
I’ve been doing mason jar salads for lunch and they are amazing so far. They keep me full and they’re so delish. They don’t take long to make either!

  
I gained 15 lbs since my honeymoon and that is NOT acceptable. I am so overweight and I hate it. I don’t want to be skinny but I need to like what I see in the mirror. And I’m on my way to doing that 😸

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real talk

real talk

 

My birthday was on Sunday and I had such mixed feelings about it. I’m getting older every year and I hate it. I’m getting closer and closer to 30 and it stresses me out. Idk what to do about it. I have anxiety about getting older and death and just can’t deal with it. I feel like I need to talk to someone professionally about it.Β 

swirls of light

swirls of light
Less than 2 months left until my Vegas trip and I am kicking my diet/exercise plan into high gear. I am determined to lose 3 lbs by the end of this month and 5 lbs by the end of May. It won’t be easy but I’ve already proven to myself that I can control my eating habits and eat more healthy.
I’ve stepped up my cardio game so that I’m doing at least 3 miles on the treadmill every day. With my FitBit I’m tracking all my steps and eating habits so I want to be able to hit 12,000 steps every single day.
It’s nice to have goals to hit because it’s easier to figure out my goals that way. One step at a time!

my light

my light
No negativity ever. Always keep that in mind. Keep that in your heart. Never let anyone infect you with it. It’s hella hard to stay positive especially when the world can be so shitty. But staying positive is the best thing for your physical and mental health. I lived in a black cloud of negativity for an entire year last year. Depression is no fun. Not at all. And its hard to do anything, no motivation to the little things that you need to do to feel human. Like showering and eating and moving off the couch. It sucks. Since I’ve made some necessary changes in my life I have improved so much. My state of mind is so much better and I feel great, But the road to get here wasn’t easy. Keep your head up. Anyone going through this, please know that it can get better.

come to me

come to me
It’s been a rough week. Being sick plus being stressed out work is no fun at all. But actually getting a good night’s rest last night helped me IMMENSELY. And I did a 2 mile run yesterday which is HUGE for me. So I feel much better. Making to-do lists and actually scratching things off really helps me get shit done. Everyone is stretched pretty thin right now so more has been added to my plate. But I’m handling it pretty well.
April is shaping up to be the busiest month of the year so far. Last weekend was Mike’s 25th birthday celebration in Cleveland. This weekend he’s going to Vegas for his bachelor party and I will be living that semi-single life. Rave of Thrones next Tuesday! Next weekend, is my hair trial for the wedding!! Next Friday I’m going back to Cleveland to celebrate yet another birthday but I have to rush back to Columbus the next morning so Mike and I can look at an apartment. It feels good to finally make some moves regarding our future after the wedding is over. There’s been a lot of planning but no resolution and that’s been wearing on me.
The weekend some friends are coming into town and I’ll hopefully see them at some point. And Race For The Cure stuff kicks off at work. Just a super busy month overall. In the meantime, the weather is getting warmer (and wetter) and I’m feeling good. Progress is going slow but steady with my weight loss goals. Trying to lose 3 lbs by May 1 and then 5 lbs by June 1. Watching what I eat sucks but I know it won’t bother me as much when I can like what I see in the mirror πŸ™‚

One year ago and today

  

It’s so weird how much your body can change in a year. It’s hard for me to really gauge how much weight I’ve lost and my progress unless I see numbers but then I see photos like this and I’m like wow I really am making a difference with my body 😊

Hahaha I had to make the same stupid face in order to really check the difference 😁

la femme

la femme
You know what’s tough? Having the motivation and drive to achieve something even after you’re already starting to see progress. I know sometimes we’ll trip and fall and it matters that we get back up and try again. But I hate feeling like I’m failing myself. I started this fitness journey at first because I hated how chubby I had gotten and I tried all sorts of things to figure out a way to beat it. But I failed every time.
It wasn’t until I learned to love myself and be okay with my body that I really got going with my fitness training. I picked myself back up and I got a personal trainer to get me started.Β 
It’s the failures that we have that make us the people we are. It’s what motivates us to move forward and succeed. If you take every failure as the end of the world, you’re never going to be okay with trying again.Β 
I have to tell myself every day that I can do this. That I am not a loser, that I can be who I want. I just need to work towards it. NOTHING has ever been given to me, my entire life. Nothing. I have worked for everything that I have.
You should too.
la femme
by vanessashark featuring Miss Selfridge

a trillion

a trillion
Made a firm decision with myself this morning to regulate my eating more. I’ve been doing okay so far but I need to get next level with it. I need to stop eating fast food and I need to consume more water. Once it becomes more natural it won’t seem like such a chore. I need to start substituting the minimal sweets I eat with fruit. And eat way more veggies than I do now. I’ve been thinking about trying out the Paleo diet but that would require me to give up cheese and I don’t know if I can do that just yet. I love me some cheese. That’s my one weakness….

young & fashion

young & fashion
Well this weekend was particularly shitty.
Why, you ask?
I got violently ill. Vomiting for several hours non-stop, Saturday night into Sunday morning. Not entirely sure why. There are 3 suggestions:
A) Food poisoning: the most likely option since I went on a food crawl with my fiance that night for apps, dinner and dessert
B) Stomach flu: I had a sore throat for 2 days and a fever yesterday and a general cold today, all symptoms of a nasty virus
C) A food allergy: Not the most likely option since I consume certain foods a lot and this is the first time I’ve thrown up
So yeah i don’t know. My stomach is still not at 100%. I’m so dehydrated, I want to chug water but it hurts my stomach when I do so I have to do it slowly.
Wahhhhhh someone help me.

hopelessly yours

hopelessly yours
This week is already almost over and that is insane!!! I have boot camp tonight and I’m a little nervous because its my first one and I hate embarrassing myself. Hopefully it won’t be anything I can’t do. My trainer told me last night that I was visibly getting stronger which is awesome. I could tell but I didn’t know if I was just seeing things. But I know my arms are getting more muscular. Woooooooo

Boticelli Babe

Boticelli Babe
Man I haven’t posted in awhile and I apologize for that. Let’s take a recap of the past week of my life shall we?
Wednesday: First vacation day at my new job wasn’t really a vacation. I had to work remotely on my phone & computer. I missed half the Cavs game because I was dealing with a work emergency boooo
Thursday: Thanksgiving! It was relatively dull but I had a lot of wine so yay!
Friday: Went shopping with my mom and got a lot of stuff with birthday money then had birthday dinner with friends at my favorite restaurant.
Saturday: MY BIRTHDAY! And it was pretty fucking awesome for the most part! We had a huge tailgate in the morning before the game, I was hammered for the first half of the game but at least it was semi-warm. Then that night we tried to go out and only Tempestt and I could muster enough energy up to dance around for a couple hours.
Sunday: FEVER. Oh God.
Monday: Had to skip work because FEVER.
Tuesday: Only could make it halfway through work because FEVER.
But now I feel better yay!

the desire unfounded

the desire unfounded
Last night was rough with the trainer. He told me my body fat percentage and it threw me off for the whole session. Then I cried on the way home. Ugh it really sucks. I hate how much work I have to do because my body betrayed me. Really fucking sucks. I need to keep my head up because there’s a reason I sought him out and I need to remember that.

an ode to heartbreak

an ode to heartbreak
Officially starting my meal plan that my nutritionist put me on. Pretty excited to see what results I get while training with him and eating the right stuff. It’s not too different from what I was already doing but it’s improvement. The next two weeks are going to be insane and fun and busy and stressful and hilarious. Got my sessions and then Friendsgiving and TGIT with my besties. God I love my life. Once I get my weight and my spending under control, I’ll be living a perfect life probably. Haha who am I kidding? Imperfect life is the best life.

watch the way

watch the way
What a great weekend it’s been. Especially today. I worked out and got my laundry put away. I washed my hair and just generally felt pretty productive. You may not know me but for me to be productive on a Sunday is quite a feat. All because I didn’t drink much this weekend. I love going out and partying but man the hangovers the next day really suck everything out of me. That’s the one true downside, especially as I get older. But it was good for me to have a chill weekend considering the busy week I have coming up. I have a concert on Tuesday, the Cavs game on Thursday and then Halloween shenanigans Friday and Saturday. Plus friends will be in town. I’m so excited for the #BestWeekEver πŸ™‚

unmask me

unmask me
What an amazing weekend. I love love love going to games and being with my best friends. I needed that. I’ve been a little down lately with what’s going on in my friends group. Kind of a bummer but I’ll need to just get over it because life isn’t fair and shit happens. I need to focus on the good things in my life and there are a lot of good things. Still struggling with getting my weight down. For some reason even with me working every day and eating better my weight isn’t going down. I’m assuming I’m picking up muscle but still I want to lean out first. Ugh Idk what to do at this point anymore.